The "Betrayal Bond" Index Test

The series of statements below describe traumatic bonding, wherein a person bonds on the basis of betrayal. The result is what we call a "betrayal bond.”

Take this test if you think you may be involved in a relationship that involves betrayal bonding. When you are finished, click submit to get your results.

Yes No 1.   Do you obsess about people who have hurt you even through they are long gone?
Yes No 2.   Do you continue to seek contact with people whom you know will cause you further pain?
Yes No 3.   Do you go "overboard" to help people who have been destructive to you?
Yes No 4.   Do you continue to be a "team" member when obviously things are becoming destructive?
Yes No 5.   Do you continue attempts to get people to like you who are clearly using you?
Yes No 6.   Do you trust people again and again who are proven to be unreliable?
Yes No 7.   Are you unable to retreat from unhealthy relationships?
Yes No 8.   Do you try to be understood by those who clearly do not care?
Yes No 9.   Do you choose to stay in conflict with others when it would cost you nothing to walk away?
Yes
 
No
 
10.  
 
Do you persist in trying to convince people that there is a problem and they are not willing to listen?
Yes No 11.   Are you loyal to people who have betrayed you?
Yes No 12.   Do you attract untrustworthy people?
Yes No 13.   Have you kept damaging secrets about exploitation or abuse?
Yes No 14.   Do you continue contact with an abuser who acknowledges no responsiblity?
Yes No 15.   Do you find yourself covering up, defending, or explaining a relationship?
Yes
 
No
 
16.  
 
When there is a constant pattern of non-performance in a relationship, do you continue to expect them to follow through anyway?
Yes No 17.   Do you have repetitive, destructive fights that are no win for anybody?
Yes
 
No
 
18.  
 
Do you find that others are horrified by something that has happened to you and you are not?
Yes
 
No
 
19.  
 
Do you obsess about showing someone that they are wrong about you, your relationship, or their treatment of you?
Yes
 
No
 
20.  
 
Do you feel stuck because you know what the other is doing is destructive but you believe you cannot do anything about it?
Yes No 21.   Do you feel loyal to someone even though you harbor secrets that are damaging to others?
Yes
 
No
 
22.  
 
Do you move closer to someone you know is destructive to you even though you do not trust, like or care for the person?
Yes
 
No
 
23.  
 
Does someone's talents, charisma, or contributions cause you to overlook destructive, exploitive, or degrading acts?
Yes
 
No
 
24.  
 
Do you find you cannot detach from someone even though you do not trust, like or care for the person?
Yes
 
No
 
25.  
 
Do you find yourself missing a relationship even to the point of nostalgia and longing, that was so awful it almost destroyed you?
Yes No 26.   Are extraordinary demands placed on you to measure up as a way to cover up exploitation?
Yes
 
No
 
27.  
 
Do you keep secret someone's destructive behavior because of all of the good they have done or the importance of their position or career?
Yes
 
No
 
28.  
 
Does your relationship have contacts or promises that have been broken which you are asked to overlook?
Yes No 29.   Are you attracted to "dangerous" people?
Yes No 30.   Do you stay in a relationship longer than you should?


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