The "Betrayal Bond" Index Test

The series of statements below describe traumatic bonding, wherein a person bonds on the basis of betrayal. The result is what we call a "betrayal bond.”

Take this test if you think you may be involved in a relationship that involves betrayal bonding. When you are finished, click submit to get your results.

Yes No 1.   Do you obsess about people who have hurt you even through they are long gone?
Yes No 2.   Do you continue to seek contact with people whom you know will cause you further pain?
Yes No 3.   Do you go "overboard" to help people who have been destructive to you?
Yes No 4.   Do you continue to be a "team" member when obviously things are becoming destructive?
Yes No 5.   Do you continue attempts to get people to like you who are clearly using you?
Yes No 6.   Do you trust people again and again who are proven to be unreliable?
Yes No 7.   Are you unable to retreat from unhealthy relationships?
Yes No 8.   Do you try to be understood by those who clearly do not care?
Yes No 9.   Do you choose to stay in conflict with others when it would cost you nothing to walk away?
Yes
 
No
 
10.  
 
Do you persist in trying to convince people that there is a problem and they are not willing to listen?
Yes No 11.   Are you loyal to people who have betrayed you?
Yes No 12.   Do you attract untrustworthy people?
Yes No 13.   Have you kept damaging secrets about exploitation or abuse?
Yes No 14.   Do you continue contact with an abuser who acknowledges no responsiblity?
Yes No 15.   Do you find yourself covering up, defending, or explaining a relationship?
Yes
 
No
 
16.  
 
When there is a constant pattern of non-performance in a relationship, do you continue to expect them to follow through anyway?
Yes No 17.   Do you have repetitive, destructive fights that are no win for anybody?
Yes
 
No
 
18.  
 
Do you find that others are horrified by something that has happened to you and you are not?
Yes
 
No
 
19.  
 
Do you obsess about showing someone that they are wrong about you, your relationship, or their treatment of you?
Yes
 
No
 
20.  
 
Do you feel stuck because you know what the other is doing is destructive but you believe you cannot do anything about it?
Yes No 21.   Do you feel loyal to someone even though you harbor secrets that are damaging to others?
Yes
 
No
 
22.  
 
Do you move closer to someone you know is destructive to you even though you do not trust, like or care for the person?
Yes
 
No
 
23.  
 
Does someone's talents, charisma, or contributions cause you to overlook destructive, exploitive, or degrading acts?
Yes
 
No
 
24.  
 
Do you find you cannot detach from someone even though you do not trust, like or care for the person?
Yes
 
No
 
25.  
 
Do you find yourself missing a relationship even to the point of nostalgia and longing, that was so awful it almost destroyed you?
Yes No 26.   Are extraordinary demands placed on you to measure up as a way to cover up exploitation?
Yes
 
No
 
27.  
 
Do you keep secret someone's destructive behavior because of all of the good they have done or the importance of their position or career?
Yes
 
No
 
28.  
 
Does your relationship have contacts or promises that have been broken which you are asked to overlook?
Yes No 29.   Are you attracted to "dangerous" people?
Yes No 30.   Do you stay in a relationship longer than you should?


Certified Treatment Partners

Category: Residential Treatment

Gentle Path at The Meadows was founded by Dr. Patrick Carnes and is the only treatment program with his personal involvement—meeting individually with each patient during their treatment. We offer confidential inpatient treatment for men 18 and older who battle sexual addiction, relationship addiction, and sexual anorexia. We integrate Dr. Patrick Carnes’ methodology with The Meadows Model and The Meadows’ signature Survivors Week to concurrently address sex addiction and trauma.

Category: Residential Treatment

Pine Grove's Gratitude is a program for those struggling with sexual addiction, relationship addiction, sexual anorexia and sexual trauma. This program incorporates Dr. Patrick Carnes’ 30 task-model, as well as, art therapy, psycho-drama, team building, small and large therapy groups, and informative lectures.  Gratitude has an experienced, multi-disciplinary staff including psychiatrists, addictionologists, pyschologists, and licensed therapists.

Category: Outpatient Treatment

The Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles (SRI) offers confidential, state-of-the-art, intensive relationship and sexual addiction treatment in an intimate, affordable, short-term outpatient setting. The SRI program provides a structured, focused multi-dimensional therapy process designed to disrupt and eliminate problem patterns of sexual behavior, while offering concrete direction and hope toward change to both clients and loved-ones alike.

The Center for Sexual Recovery at The Ranch (CSR) provides dedicated, residential, gender-separate, relationship and sexual addiction treatment. Our primary goal is to help clients confront and eliminate secretive, destructive patterns of sexual and romantic behavior, while simultaneously addressing past trauma, relationship and emotional stability concerns, all of which lie at the heart of most intimacy disorders. The Ranch is also strongly committed to the emotional health and healing of those spouses, partners and families whose lives are disrupted by the consequences of sex and romantic addition.

Center For Healthy Sex is a sex addiction treatment and sex therapy team in Los Angeles California. We've helped people from all walks of life with sex addiction in L.A. County. Face and conquer your sexual addictions or dysfunctions today.

Category: Residential Treatment

Prescott House is an extended care treatment facility in Arizona for men who need further treatment beyond primary inpatient treatment for a wide range of personal issues. We offer a supportive environment that embraces the principles of 12-Step programs to treat alcoholism and other drug addictions, PTSD, codependency, sexual recovery, adult children of alcoholics, self esteem issues, severe entitlement, relapse prevention, depression, gambling issues and dual diagnosis including: depression ADD, ADHD, Bi-Polar Disorder and Anxiety.

Category: Residential Treatment

The Refuge - A Healing Place is an adult residential extended care rehab facility located in Marion County, Florida, specializing in addictions and post-traumatic stress disorder resolution that's based on the premise of healing with care, spirituality, and gentleness. The addiction rehab services at The Refuge are designed for those whose unresolved trauma leads them to relapse; The Refuge is for those whose pain feels insurmountable; The Refuge was founded on being able to provide our clients with the restoration of Hope, Recovery, and Healing.

Category: Outpatient Treatment

Psychological Counseling Services, Ltd. (PCS) is a group practice specializing in intensive outpatient therapy. We are experts in relationship problems, marriage and family issues, compulsivity, depression, codependence, anxiety, eating disorders, and trauma resolution. In addition, we specialize in providing help for sex therapy and sexual addiction; issues often rooted in childhood trauma stemming from deprivation or abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual). Consequently, all of our therapists are trained to deal with family of origin issues. In addition to the intensive outpatient program, Intensive Steps to Health and Wholeness, PCS provides regular outpatient psychotherapy services for most mental health concerns.


Caron Treatment Centers in the largest non-profit organization dedicated to the treatment and prevention of the disease of addiction.  With more than 525 beds throughout Pennsylvania, Texas and Florida, Caron offers the most comprehensive continuum of evidence-based, addiction treatment programs for adolescents/teens, young adults, adults, baby boomers, seniors and their families.    Caron recognizes the value of specialized screenings, comprehensive assessments, individual and group counseling, as well as educational lectures as effective strategies when treating individuals and  their families struggling with Addiction Interaction Disorder (AID) – a process whereby multiple addictions not only coexist, but interact, reinforce and fuse together such as drugs and alcohol, gambling, sex, eating, work or the Internet.

Category: Residential Treatment

Capstone is a licensed residential treatment program serving troubled young men (14-24) who struggle with chemical dependency, substance abuse, sexual addiction, trauma, family conflict, and personal problems including loss, hurt, anger, abuse, depression, low self-esteem, defiance and a rebellious attitude.

LHC special expertise is in treating the individual with complex, interrelated problems, including emotional trauma, drug/alcohol dependence, mood & anxiety disorders, related behaviors such as compulsive sexual, eating, gambling, spending, or self-harm. Many of our clients have a history of unsuccessful previous treatment, & where that is the case, they seek to break the cycle of relapse. By focusing on the whole person rather than 1 or 2 disorders, the clinicians can think outside the box to develop an integrated treatment plan that best meets the needs of each client.

Category: Outpatient Treatment

Effective, results-based therapy treatment for people living with sex addiction in the New York area.

 Category: Residential and Outpatient Treatment 

Bellwood Health Services has provided comprehensive residential treatment for Canadians struggling with sex addiction since 2001. As the first treatment and education centre in Canada to offer a residential program for sex addiction, Bellwood's program is delivered by a skilled team that includes Certified Sex Addiction Specialists (CSAT) and uses the highly effective task-centered model of treatment developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes. Bellwood also offers comprehensive treatment for individuals struggling with a co-occurring substance abuse issue.

 

Category: Residential Treatment

The Keystone Center Extended Care Unit was established in 1994 by Patrick Carnes PhD, the leading expert in sex addiction treatment. Since that time our treatment team has adapted Carnes' wisdom to address the emotional, intellectual, and relational needs of the people who pass through our doors. It has become known to many as 'the house of pain" in reference to all of the painful yet healing work that goes on here.


Category: Outpatient Treatment

Millennium offers state-of-the-art recovery opportunities for persons struggling with sexual addiction and compulsivity. This cutting-edge program bridges the gap between inpatient treatment and weekly therapy and is a valuable tool for addicts of all kinds and their families. We offer the Recovery Start Intensive (RSI), an intensive outpatient program offered within schedule options that keep the constraints of the professional in mind. Our Recovery Start Groups (RSG) are cohort groups that require a six-month commitment.

Mt Pleasant Academy is designed to treat adolescent males from the ages 12 to 18 with sexual compulsive behaviors, sexual reactive behaviors, and sexual addictive behaviors. Our Mt Pleasant team of professionals will provide a thorough assessment on each individual and measure their level of risk and implement a treatment plan to intervene at the level of need or risk. Our team consists of master level therapists who are CSAT Certified as well as substance abuse counselors. Areas of focus will be the following;

  • Understanding personal responsibility, choice and accountability
  • Behavioral self-control (interruption of patterns of dysfunctional behavior
  • Learn and understand pro-social behavior
  • Learn, understand and identify healthy and appropriate self-expression
  • Develop healthy and appropriate relationships with children, peers and adults
  • Build self-esteem/worth and personal identity
  • Interrupt and control identified thinking errors and minimization
  • Learn to live an addiction free lifestyle
  • Improved mental health and intellectual skills and coping skills
  • Improve family functioning behaviors
  • Develop empathy of victims and others and resolve victim and community restitution
  • Improve healthy interventions, competency, and resiliency

Category: Residential Treatment

Santé Center for Healing offers hope and treatment to those suffering from alcohol addiction, drug addiction and other behavioral health issues. Patients at Santé receive a spectrum of therapeutic addiction treatment addressing the whole person; mind, body and emotions.

An adult, dual diagnosis, residential treatment center, Santé specializes in the treatment of Substance Use Disorders, Process/Behavioral Addictions, Compulsive Behaviors, Trauma Related Issues, Co-Occurring Psychiatric Disorders, Professional and Safety Sensitive Issues, Medical Detoxification and Chronic Relapse. Treatment at Santé is an integrated approach (a multi-disciplinary team utilizing behavioral, cognitive, and interpersonal therapy) that is solution focused rather than problem focused. Santé offers Individual, group, family counseling and small sized process groups in Primary and Secondary Residential Care Treatment settings. Santé also offers Mirror Imaging, Transitional Living, Aftercare and an Intensive Outpatient Program.

Santé is located on a serene hillside, in North Texas, just outside the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. The 14 acre property offers a tranquil environment for individuals suffering from the disease of addiction. Santé is a place where one can turn their life around. A place to learn how to live life on life's terms. A place to examine one's life, stop unproductive behavior patterns and cultivate inner resources.