For some, breaking through denial of the problem is easy because things have become so bad (loss of relationships, job, home, money) that they experience what is called "hitting bottom." Others may reach out for help before they lose it all. Whatever event it is that brings a person to recovery, there is almost certainly more that needs to be addressed. In others word, one big event is not the sole issue.
In the book, Facing the Shadow, is an exercise that asks the reader to make a "problems" list and a "secrets" list. These lists encourage the recovering person to examine the consequences of their addictive behavior. Once written, there is little room for denial of the problem. The secrets list also lends toward breaking through denial by addressing the ways in which one has lied to self and others. Further, these secrets that mask behavior can continue to fuel the addiction and shame cycle until they are confronted.
Addiction and the issues that brought you to this point cannot be addressed until you obtain a clear picture of reality. For those of you wondering how bad your problem may be, I encourage you to give these exercises a try. And for those who have already started a recovery program, do not hesitate to modify or add to these lists. As you move progressively into your recovery, you may see things you hadn't before.
The more real you are with yourself, the more real you can be with others. Being accepted for who you are and want to be is really the goal, isn't it?
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