In 1983, Patrick Carnes described addiction as "a pathological relationship with a mood-altering experience" in Out of the Shadows. In Chapter 2 of Facing the Shadow he further describes sexual addiction:
"For sex addicts, sex becomes the priority for which they sacrifice everything. They put sex before their children, spouses, and friends, despite the great costs to themselves. Just as an alcoholic has an affair with the bottle, the sex addict's relationship is with sex and romance. Distorted fantasies and satiating behaviors are obsessive to the point of physical harm are used in an attempt to resolve the addict's desolate loneliness." –Page 21, Facing the Shadow.
Facing the Shadow has exercises that allows the reader to truly gain introspection into heir own addictive cycle by examining issues of preoccupation, ritualization, compulsivity, and despair. Further, readers can also look at other possible issues of sexual anorexia and binge-purge cycles. This book not only tells you how professionals know that you may have a problem, but the exercises also let you do a self-examination through the exercises. Finally, there is a segment to aid the reader about options for outpatient or inpatient therapy.
At this time in your recovery, you may feel a little overwhelmed by the new insight or with making a decision about what level of therapy you may need to aid your recovery. Just remember, this is your recovery and there is hope. The goal of this journey is to learn to live a happy, joyous, and free life that includes healthy sexuality.
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