Task 2b: Understanding Sexual Addiction

An excerpt from Chapter 3 of Facing the Shadow:

The problem is that sex is not talked about much so most people are unaware of the diversity and intensity of human sexual behavior. This is our culture's big secret and it has several effects:

  • People feel great shame about what they do because they do not know how common their behavior is; they think they are abnormal.
  • There has been a societal delay in understanding what constitutes healthy or unhealthy sexual behavior.
  • Most important, it has been difficult to understand those whose sexual compulsion is the core of an addictive process.

By far the biggest issue we must address is that sex addicts will blend unconventional and "normal" behaviors in a pattern. Addicts need to understand their patterns. First, they need to look at which sexual behaviors for them have a pattern of causing problems. Second, they must notice when there has been a loss of control, such as failed efforts to stop, or continuation despite consequences.

Most addicts notice that they have more than one pattern. Do you know what your patterns or triggers are? The exercises in Chapter 3 of Facing the Shadow can help you to map out your patterns of addictive behavior. Recognition of our pattern behaviors can help us understand our own arousal templates, both healthy and unhealthy. Once you identify the nature of your addictive illness and behavior patterns, then you may be ready to surrender to the process of recovery.


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